The transition from youth to middle age is a gradual process. For some people who have prepared themselves "to go all the way" middle age is taken in stride. For others, middle age peaks in a crisis described by someone as "a time when what makes you tick needs winding." The middle-aged person is introspective. He is resigned and rebellious at the same time. Middle age attracts less attention than youth and inspires only little research. It is recognized, however, as a time when one thinks that decisions in the past have sometimes robbed one of choice in the present.
Needs In Middle Age
Middle age is a time of determining whether the man or woma,1 is a success, as measured by the goals set for themselves in youth. In occupations such 'as engineering and science, in which long professional training is essential to productive activity and economic independence, persons who have not yet been admitted to full standing may identify themselves as being young. A laborer, on the other hand, who may be the same chronological age as the newly licensed company lawyer may feel himself old at thirty-five. A steel worker or miner may feel he has reached his economic peak just at the age when the young business executive and accountant are ready for promotion and their best work. Needs in middle age center on self-evaluation-questions of status become important. In terms of behavior some people act in middle age as if they were living through a period of "emotional second adolescence." It is important for family harmony for younger people to realize that parents have problems of psychological adjustment also. Let us take an overall look at these problems.in the male and in the female.
Middle-Age Revolt in the Male
Along with decreases in physical stamina and sexual activity, such signs as receding hairlines indicate the passing of youth, a stage soon to be followed in some people by what the psychoanalysts have termed "middle-age revolt." This usually comes earlier for the worker, later for the manager or professional man; but it comes to many in terms of lost dreams and failure to meet cutthroat competition. This revolt comes when the man cannot plead the inexperience of youth or the frailties of age. The middle-ager sometimes expresses guilt feelings of failure and blames himself for not having gone into the right job He frequently wonders whether he married the right woman. Middle age begins when the phone rings on Saturday night and you hope it is a wrong num ber.
The man in middle age may see his weight climbing and his hair thinning. These easily observed changes disturb him. When youngsters call him "Sir," and the lone courtesy candle appears on his birthday cake, the middle-aged man is quite ready to m8.gnify his problems. His ego suffers another blow when he moves into the bifocal stage and he finds that his insurance rates are going up. It is in this stage that the middle-aged man sometimes begins to take out his aggression against his family and his job. During this period of emotional second adolescence, the middle-aged worker may be difficult to deal with and the manager may be hard to work for. The professional begins to take stock of where he stands.
Middle-Age Problems in the Female
In the preceding chapter we indicated that our culture has fostered some prejudices against women, particularly at the economic level. The female in middle age must cope with both psychological and physiological changes. Many strains and inconsistencies are built into the system that casts them in various roles. The insistence on glamour in our youth-oriented society is one example of the pressures on the middle-aged woman.
Most of us have a feeling for the concept of role. We see it being played out all around us-at home, on campus, and at work. Understanding middle-age problems relates to three general classes of roles. First, we have the prescribed role which is expected of us in any given situation. Throughout history it was generally accepted that man was head of the household; thus, the role of woman fell beneath him. Second, we have the subjective role. Here both male and female perceive their own positions, "and what we perceive may be in conflict with what we would choose. Third, we have the enacted role, in which the individual behaves in some given way. Sometimes we play roles in a given way because we have to, or because we want to, or because we feel we should. The "have to" role often is the one that hurts.
When we run in to role-playing situations that poin t up inconsistencies between roles that one has assumed, or been forced into, we sometimes revolt. Some unanswered questions may bother us. Are personality differences, at least in part, sex-related? Are women, in general, more docile and dependent than men? Are men more success-oriented than women? Do some roles come more naturally for females? The current emphasis on the liberation of women is raising anew some basic problems about sex differences and the roles we all play. The "biological" and "social" seem to come together naturally when our thinking turns to questions of sex differences. One thing we do know is that menopause is not only real but forms a base for middle-age revolt in the female, comparable to, or even stronger than, the revolt in the male.
Some women use menopause as a reason to go from one physician to another looking for medication. They search out diets, exercises, and sometimes the occult. The biological change becomes further complicated in our culture by the exaggeration of psychological conflicts. The woman in middle age often sees her beauty and sexual attractiveness fading and social success becoming more restricted. As children grow up and go out on their own, there is psychological loss of maternal influence. The muscular cramps, dizzy spells, and "hot flash'es" th:lt accompany the change of life for the female add to the emotional problems of middle age.
There is a physiological basis for the emotional problems that start in the late thirties. For exmmple, there is some breakdown of hormones produced by the adrenal glands, along with other biological changes. Middle age in the female, as in the male, is characterized by periods of anxiety and depression. It is a time when both sexes refuse to accept a revised· self image. And let us repeat what we have indicated about the male: the emotional upsets of middle age in the female are normal; most women are affected by them. But there is also the positive side. By the time of middle age, we have already established some habits of self-control that not only support us, but also give us some understanding of the frailties of human nature.
Status
In middle age, status becomes very important. At this stage the man or woman wishes to be looked up to by youth for advice and asked by the aged for help. Rules and procedures in the organization make status differences quite visible by making it clear who gives the orders and wields influence. Allied with status is self-esteem. Whether one will attempt to persuade others depends in part on his estimate of his own competence. The higher one's status, the more control he or she has over what happens on the job. More status means more opportuni· ty to participate in decisions.
Studies show a general tendency to overestimate one's own job and to underestimate the job of others. This often brings about confusion. The waitress may see herself as having more status than the short-order cook when she tells him what orders to fill. Not only does he resent taking orders from a female whom he regards as having lower status than his own, but he sees himself not as a cook but as a chef.
Status confusion also arises because a person with high status in one situation may be low in the pecking order somewhere else. Th superintendent of a small-town branch office who is "Mr. Big" may find himself virtually without status when rotated to a staff head· quarters position. The bookkeeper in the small operation mny los status when advanced to the position of one of many compute programmers, even though the latter job pays better.
People react differently to status symbols. One person who gets job title change without additional authority, responsibility, and compensation may feel no status enhancement whatsoever. In fact he may resent being so treated. Another person may prefer a title change which makes his job sound more important; he may even wish not to have additional authority and responsibility.
The Negative and the Positive
In terms of problems' the middle-aged person worries over the delinquencies of youth, the insecurities of old age, and the devastations of disease and war. He or she is concerned with the decay of democracy, with holding down his job, and with balancing budgets. One of the costs to the middle-aged person in terms of energy is exacted by his or her community responsibilities, in which one can contribute much in the way of skills and wisdom. However, for many people who have reached their limits on the job, community activities provide, for lateral growth, which partly satisfies the drive to attain success.
Caught in the period between being "still young" and "already old," the middle-ager shoulders psychological burdens which are often kept hidden. To talk too openly about them would possibly lower the person's status, even if he or she could get anyone to listen.
Guilt feelings of failure are typical of the middle-ager. We feel we have not advanced far enough in our job or profession. We are concerned that we have not made adequate economic provision for our family in the event that something happens to us. The middleaged person feels that the doors of opportunity are closing fast. He or she is concerned about status when noting the high divorce rate among peers. In much the same way that the adolescent magnifies his problems, so does the person in middle age.
But there is a positive side to middle age. Certain hazards of life have passed; for example, there is more tenure on the job for those who planned ahead. These people are also in positions of dignity and power. They have more knowledge, skill, and wisdom than they had in youth. Anxieties have decreased. Now one can get more satisfaction from the "simple life." Marital companionship may be closer than ever if the couple can survive the biological and psychological changes that take place during middle age.
