Success and Failure
Some people enter mic1dle life with a background of success revealed by various types of recognition. Others enter the prime of life with a past history of failure. In either case there is no quarrel with the criteria of evaluation. But what of the man who feels himself a failure while others applaud his successes? What about the man who questions the standards for judging success and failure? What about the 'woman who felt handicapped just because she was female?
For most adults the early forties are a period of evaluation. The man examines his career to see how he rates according to goals established in youth; the woman looks at her career or marriage in terms of earlier alternatives.
In a culture such as ours, which both idealizes and rewards youth, some pressures act to prevent people from admitting to themselves that they are becoming older. Add to this the fact that cur culture encourages youth to set aspirations beyond the bounds of realization. One can see how when evaluation comes, it comes with a jolt.
A person's criteria of success may be greatly different from those of his or her colleague. We cannot establish universal criteria, and the generally accepted definitions of success seldom satisfy anyone person. Sometimes individual criteria. for personal success do not satisfysociet)' in its abstract, mass personality. A man may hold a position of authority, with responsibility and prestige; he may be making a good salary; yet in his own judgment, he is a failure. In constrast, the world at large may think a man a virtual failure, while he himself has reached a peace of mind which can fairly be called success. Through thoughtful career planning in youth, thi:o'middleager attempted to balance the levels of ability, of opportunity, and of aspirations within a critical set of limits to achieve success in work and in personal life. He gradually learned that repeated frustrations lowered his aspirations, and he also learned that repeated successes raised them. But when he sought to keep in balance his levels of ability and levels of aspiration, he found he was walking a tightrope.
Many people who pass the middle-age test find their most psychologically rewarding years are ahead. There are others who age without growing up.
