Do you know what the phrase ‘dating approach’ means? Perhaps what a chat-up line is? What ‘dating approach’ means is when you find yourself walking up to someone you have never met, or at least believe you never met, and then you start speaking to them as a introduction of yourself, in a hopefully romantic way. This is also called a chat-up line, so those two are pretty much the same. Now, the first few words you speak to this person is going to speak volumes, more volumes and even more volumes. In less then 15 seconds you will either be going home alone again, end up with a definite date or even have set yourself up with the girl of your dreams for life! It is pretty simple, or at least it can be simple. It’s said that a person will make up their mind or judge a person and keep to that judgment within only a few seconds, and if you are a honest person I think you will agree completely when I say that we know pretty well if we are attracted to someone or not within the first few seconds of seeing them. It’s the same for everyone else.
Now, here you may be thinking that if that is the case, why the heck bother speaking to the person in the first place? How is it at all important what you say if they would have already judged you? Well, sure, we may like how someone LOOKS but that’s not all there is, and we know that, in a relationship. At this point in time the looks will be confirmed and underlined heavily by just how they approach us, what they say, how they say it, how their voice sounds and possibly an accent if they have one. Think of it this way, the person looks hot but he trips on the way there, says something that makes no sense, sounds like a chipmunk and then smiles and their teeth are all yellow, bad breath, that sort of thing. I think even the most handsome guy or cutest girl you would lose interest in after that. So, what I’m saying here is that by initiating communication with the person, we form judgments pretty quickly. I’ve written an article before about how much of a role confidence plays in attraction, and this will most certainly play a part with this subject we are talking about now. You see, the more confidence you got in your dating approach, or chat-up lines, the more likely that your opening lines, despite what they may be, whatever you may say, may have some effect in a positive way. We are all human, so we all understand that making the initial approach can be very very nerve wracking and spine tingling to many. This is also a reason online dating is a great way to start. You don’t actually walk up to the person and see them and all that. It’s easier to make connections online because that judgment in the beginning doesn’t exist online. A dry mouth, palpitations, stuttering and stepping over your own words, no idea what is going on in your mind, no idea what to say to the person. This is all part of the dating game, but its just as much a part of the problem. But you won’t get that online. Keep that in mind.
Now, many of you may have heard the whole theory that there’s tons of attractive men and women out there that ARE single, but you never approach because the assumption here is that they as so hot, or attractive, that they have got to be attached to someone, and not single. And so no one talks to them in the flirty way that would normally land a date. Although in some cases this may be true, its more often then not, not true. No matter how pretty or hot someone may be, we all love chatting with new people, and more likely then not, again, people just simply lack the confidence that’s needed. The verbal dexterity one needs to talk entertainingly isn’t a most. You don’t need to entertain who you are talking to. Despite the fact you may think you need to, you don’t need to make them laugh or anything.
Now, I said that last thing because it’s often said that women are attracted to the men who are witty and amusing. Well, what I say to that is how often do you see a woman with a shirt that says ‘must have a good sense of humor’? Yeah, probably never. It’s true though that a good funny opening may be a great way to assist in the whole opening approach, however… I recently read in a survey taken, that the group of women would most like it if the man just took the normal approach to dating, instead of trying to be a comedian. They don’t want to date someone great at stand up comedy. In reality, its not WHAT you say, but how you say it that really matters. And actually, for a lot of people, opening lines do seem to work for them.
But to others, like public speaking, people find opening lines to be stressful, very stressful even. Before I go on though, these people think they NEED an opening line. You don’t. These people end up coming across as an aggressive and probably foolish person. Simply because their anxiety levels are through the roof. When they are under this much stress they tend to just bottle up and are unable to really communicate as they would have been able any other time. And this, my friends, is where the practice of self confidence comes into play. And its amazingly easy to practice! All you really need to do is be more social. The more sociable you become the more confident you will be in your ability to communicate with other people. And that includes on dates as well. And as I say in most of my articles, don’t mix dating with alcohol. They never turn out right and are never as good as they can be.
If you are the type of person who thinks having a rude, or even crude, opening line will land you any date you want, you’re dead wrong. I don’t think I’ve heard of one story where it did work, to be honest. A simple request to buy the person a drink will half and half get a positive response. People that are getting hit on prefer a more direct and open handed approach. To break the ice and make talking a freely flowing thing between the two, one needs to stick with the tested and true methods instead of seeking the worlds top notch comedy. Even women use these catch lines as much as men. Sure they not be the same kind we do, they take a more direct approach, but no matter what a line is still a line. But when it comes to a women using a catch line to get a guy, using such a catch line will land them much more success then a guy can ever get.
So, it would be useful to look up great opening lines and even bad opening lines. The point of an opening line is to get their attention, and more often then not they are meant to be amusing. But please keep in mind, they aren’t needed. Simply asking if you can sit next to them or asking to buy them a drink works a lot better. It all really depends on your past with them and their past with them. Good luck guys and gals. And gals, don’t keep waiting for guys to approach you!
