Is that guy sitting at that table near the window staring at me? My, isn't he cute! What do I do? Should I come over and talk to him? But what if I do something bad and it turns him off? What do I say to him? Oh! He's smiling at me! He looks so gorgeous. I definitely should come over. But what do I do?
I am awfully sure that these thoughts have flashed at least once across your mind whenever you run into a guy who attracts you enough for you to want him to be a potential partner, or at least a friend. I guess it is always a dilemma, how to make a first impression that is good enough to capture his attention and make him interested in you and want to know more about you.
Flirting, that coquettish game played by men and women to forge some sort of relationship between them, whether platonic or sexual, is something that is wired in our brains because of evolutionary responses our ancestors have made in order for our species to survive. But with that aside, we all must remember that there is a right time and place to be flirting, and that there are signs that we should watch out for in order to gauge if the target of our amorous overtures is welcoming it or is secretly wishing for us to just go away and vanish.
So you've seen a cute guy. He has taken notice of you and you want to get to know him more. The first thing to consider is, is the atmosphere conducive enough for flirting? Is it appropriate, given the place and the circumstances? For example, if you are in a restaurant and you are both alone, then it is okay. If he is your officemate and you are at your workplace, it probably won't be a good idea.
If you think the place is good and the time is right, then you have to make your move. Ladies, this is the 21st century that we live in. It is perfectly acceptable to approach a guy and make the first move. However, try not to come off too strong; we may live in the modern age, but guys still don't like to be overpowered by a woman in an overt way. Besides, flirting is a game of subtlety, and thus, you have to read the signs correctly.
We have all heard the adage 'First impressions last.' This does not become any truer than in a situation that involves a guy and a girl and some flirting. You would not want to turn a guy off because of things that are well in your control, like hygiene. Vanity is not good, but you still have to look and smell attractive.
Now that your appearance is covered, it is then time to make an opener. So you've approached him and he is looking at you, smiling. What then do you say? A simple 'Hi, my name is' is usually enough. You can follow it up with something about the weather, or a harmless compliment about his shirt. Never, ever start with something like 'I like you. Do you like me too?' unless you want him to laugh at your face then turn away.
Next thing to remember is to just be yourself. Be friendly and pleasant, but don't do something you would normally do. Most importantly, never lie and make stuff about yourself just to keep him interested. Should the two of you hook up later on, the truth will come out eventually, and no one likes being lied to.
And then, you have to be aware of the signs he is showing you. If his smile has become frozen on his face, and he is no longer making eye contact, it means it's time for you to move on. He is not interested, or it isn't just the right time. Ten minutes is enough time to capture his interest. If he isn't, don't push it.
Also, if he says he is already married or in a serious relationship, just stop. Flirting with a committed man is bound to lead you to trouble, rather than to romantic success.
The search for true love never ends until true love is found. The search has to start somewhere, though, and it often starts with some harmless, innocent flirtation. But remember, flirting is a game, and as a game, it should be fun for you.
