Thursday, June 30, 2011

How to manage your experiences?


Is each individual on Earth responsible for their own life experience? Or are other people to blame when they are angry, tired, tedious, envious, rude, selfish and just down right mean? How do you make space for other people's roll through the rollercoaster ride of life when it bumps right up against your happy day at the park?
The truth is that you really are responsible for your own experience and that you cannot control the way other people treat you no matter how hard you try. It is easier to sit back and judge reality by saying that people should treat you a certain way and that they are wrong whenever they don't. However as long as you sing the tune of should or should not you set yourself up on a righteous path towards the vain attempt to change other people. When you want someone in your life to act differently than they are, you create resistance to them and the way they are acting. The old statement that the more you try to change it, the more it stays the same hits you square in the face. The more you tell yourself that your friend shouldn't speak to in that way and get angry and frustrated about it, the more your friend continues to speak to you in exactly that way. You could in fact spend the rest of your life issuing moral dictums about the way other people should or shouldn't treat you. That would be an awful waste of the rest of your life, especially since you have absolutely no control over the way other people act.
The only thing you have any control over is yourself. You have the power to change your actions, reactions, thoughts and emotions. In fact the only real source of transformation lies in the ability to manage your inner world. Much as you would manage your choice of food at a deli counter by scanning the possible choices and choosing what suits you based on your likes and dislikes, you can manage the full scope
of your thoughts by choosing consistently better feeling thoughts about yourself, your life and all the beings in your life.
The only thing you have any control over is yourself. You have the power to change your actions, reactions, thoughts and emotions. In fact the only real source of transformation lies in the ability to manage your inner world. Much as you would manage your choice of food at a deli counter by scanning the possible choices and choosing what suits you based on your likes and dislikes, you can manage the full scope 
It is how you think, feel and act on a moment to moment and day to day basis that amounts to what's often called your vibration. What you think right now shapes your experience of reality. What's often called the "Law of Attraction" is the organizational rule of the universe and it's what orders your experience of reality in response to your vibration. It works in a similar manner as when you're asked not to think about the pink elephant and all you see in your mind is that very pink elephant. Dealing and interacting with family, friends and coworkers is just the same. When you stand in front of a loved one and think that they should not be so selfish, hurtful and ignorant all you see in them is evidence of their egocentric, stupid, heartbreaking behavior.
Now you might say that it is really true that they are acting in this way. Yet another person standing in the exact same situation might not be bothered at all. At some moment the finger that points at other people has to turn and point back an its owner. The teaching of Abraham which comes through Esther and Jerry Hicks states that "you cannot restore someone to their Connection with Source by belittling them or by punishing them, or by being disgusted with them. It is only through love that you can return anyone to love." As long as you remain committed to complaining about other people, fighting with politicians or reacting in outrage at a traffic jams, you remain committed to a helpless struggle of trying to change other people and outside situations.
Setting the tone of your thoughts, feelings and actions to the tune of what is wrong with the world simply gets you more of what's wrong. Just as you sort through the junk mail in your inbox to search for the good news from colleagues and friends so too must you manage your inner vibrational world to search for better feeling thoughts and emotions about your friends, colleagues and family members. No thought is absolutely, incontrovertibly true and no emotion 
is permanent. Every person on Earth has the power to bring you immense joy and immense pain and you hold the key to deciding which it will be.