You might be a smooth talker and a big flirt, but your experience with your previous dates might disagree. It doesn’t matter how great of a natural conversationalist you might be, first dates are always nerve-wracking and can cause even the best talker to say the wrong things.
You need to have an easy opening. Find an interesting topic to talk about, whether it’d be a recent trip you took or even about the weather. Avoid cheesy pick up lines and when engaging in conversation, try to feel relaxed and smile often. Body language speaks louder than words.
When talking, remain positive and avoid negative comments. Negativity is a huge turn off, even if you are just complaining about how bad the weather is. Keep a light tone, avoid ranting about your tough day at work, and keep away from topics which you strongly feel negative about.
Read his or her body language. If you see that he or she is getting quite bored with whatever you are talking about, smoothly change the subject. If you are constantly getting sidetracked and talking very fast, you could be showing signs that you are nervous. Instead, try focusing on their reactions to the things you say.
Make the conversation more personal. You don’t have to talk about weather all night or other light topics. You also don’t have to show how smart you are as your date isn’t interested in how much game show questions you’ve memorized. Your date wants to learn more personal things about you, so try to disclose more personal information about yourself and ask your date some personal questions about him or her as well.
Make sure your tone of voice is okay. Check your speed and volume as well. Try not talking too loud or too soft or too fast. Avoid lengthy pauses and don’t be tedious.
Listen. The most important, but overlooked part of a conversation when out on a date is actually listening to your date. When you aren’t talking, be attentive and listen effectively. Also, try paraphrasing what they said before you come out with your own response. Don’t take over their turn to talk either, observe and wait for when it is your turn to talk.
Being a master at engaging in effective conversation is a human trait that doesn’t require being well educated or eloquent. However, you can still try honing your conversation skills by practicing the above mentioned tips. Your next few dates might not be instant pure love, but you will sure increase the chances of impressing your date and having a fun time out with him or her.
