Why are girlfriends so important to women?

Friendships are relationships between people who share similar interests and values and give each other unconditional acceptance and loyalty usually associated with family, but also expected from our friends. The driving need women have to support and care for each other in female friendships is part of our DNA and will never go away. Women, as a whole, are more social, community focused, collaborative, and less competitive amongst each other because we know we are the ones holding the world together!

Studies show that married men live longer than single men. The same is not true for women in terms of living longer if they have a husband.   Married women are less happy and die younger than unmarried women!  However, Women, married or not, who have built strong female social ties live longer than those who haven't.

Why Female Friendships Prevail
A personal look at this question brings to mind a young, newly divorced, single-mother who, without the support of her female friendships, would not have survived leaving an unhealthy marriage to succeed in raising her children without their father. This illustration of social bonding, nurturing and support among women comes from a deep-rooted part of human nature hard wired into our brains from early hunter-gatherer societies where trust and cooperation among women, both in gathering food and caring for our young was essential to survival.

Comparisons between male and female friendships of those hunting and gathering societies and male and female friendships today show that the nature of friendship is still imbedded in our brains and DNA. Men were hunters and warriors, and hunting required trust and cooperation among men. Early men formed strong bonds and relationships needed to hunt together effectively and protect each other during warfare, dying for each other if necessary. The trust among men to risk their lives for each other was important in the survival of men during hunting and warfare and male bonding was about building that trust.

The comparisons between male and female friendships today show that trust is still a strong factor for both sexes. Male friendships are still based on the trust that men will risk their lives for each other as they stand shoulder to shoulder and guard each other's back. While female friendships are still based on the trust that women will nurture and support each other, always being there whenever needed.

Girlfriends are essential to our health because women respond to the stresses of life with a need to tend and befriend one another. Tending to our young and being with our friends actually reduces stress levels naturally. That natural stress reduction comes from the endorphins released into our bodies as we emit the hormone oxytocin when we are enjoying spending time with our girlfriends. The importance of the health nurturing aspect of female friendships is obvious in women who don't have strong female ties because they risk health issues similar to being overweight or a smoker.

Today's busy women find a nurturing, long-lasting female friendship hard to come by as family obligations, work schedules and long distances create obstacles to building caring female relationships. The need to make time for our friends is more important than ever in today's society and the key to building and keeping these strong female social ties is to be the friend you want to have by demonstrating the positive, upbeat, and warm qualities you might want from your friends. It is also critical not to let life's circumstances that make friendship difficult get in the way of cultivating and encouraging these important nurturing relationships. We need to take the time to think about our friends, live in the moment appreciating that friendship, and whenever possible, celebrate that friendship - our health and wellbeing as women depends on it.