When we think in terms of personality growth, we may find it useful to break behavior down into reactions of dominance, indifference, sub· mission, self-confidence, inferiority, sociability, and the like. The big job involves understanding the integration of habits, skills, interests, abilities, emotions, and perceptions into a whole concept we call "personality". How does it grow?
The shy, timid child is heading more in the direction of becoming too self-centered than in the direction of sociability. It is doubtful if an introverted child can be transformed into an extrovert, and it would perhaps be undesirable to attempt such a transformation. However, children who seem to be headed toward withdrawal can be helped by being given more opportunities to be with other children of their own age, size, and abilities. The more studious type of child may be encouraged to get out and develop interests that will involvet:ooperation with others. The socially minded child may be encouraged to settle down more to schoolwork.
Children raised in a family in which the parents are aggressive, autocratic, and hard-headed may take on dominance instead of becoming submissive as one might expect. Submissive persons may have many creative qualities and they may be well adjusted and easier to get along with than the upward-mobile person. Research on the past lives of people wh.o have sRown extreme tendencies of submission show that related causes may include physical defects, real or imagined; unfavorable comparisons with other persons; fric· tion in the home; ridicule by others; lack of opportunities to learn; and rigid parental discipline. Among the causes of dominance, investi· gators have found such contributing factors as early assumption of responsibility; parental training; absence of discipline in the home; superior mental or physical ability; and some unusual skill, frequently in athletics.
Self-Confidence
Another way to come to understand the nature of personality traits and how they grow is to pick a very desirable trait and see how it can be destroyed. For this we shall use self-confidence. How many of the dozen questions below would you say are involved? Here you are parents...
- Are you babying the child rather than encouraging him or her to do things on his or her own?
- Are you making the home climate tense rather than relaxed?
- Are you expressing more disapproval than praise?
- Are you pushing the child beyond his abilities rather than realizing his limitations?
- Are you aloof rather than friendly toward the child?
- Are you riding the child on weaknesses rather than \rying to correct them?
- Are you holding up a superior child as an example rather than comparing the child to someone nearer his or her own abilities?
- Are you demanding perfection rather than showing tolerance?
- Are·you providing the child with unnecessary worries rather than making the child feel secure?
- Are you setting an "I can't" example rather than exhibiting self-sufficiency yourself?
- Are you overprotecting the child rather than teaching him or her responsibility?
- Are you telling the child to withdraw from situations one should be made to face?
- Be sure that the problems are within range of the child's abilities at any particular growth level.
- It is well to let the child work on only one big problem at a time.
- Several coming all at once lead to frustration. Be patient; solving problems takes a lot of trial and error. A part of this process involves learning what not to do.
- Be cautious in judging the child's accomplishments in terms of adult standards. Expect the child to regress in the ability to solve pmblems.
- Don't get in the habit of solving problems for the child.
- See that the child receives reinforcement when problems are solved.
It may be beneficial to remember that practical child psychology deals with essentially all the kinds of problems we face as adults. In biological development, time is on the side of the organism, but in psychological growth time always seems to be running out.
