Raising Boys and Glrls
Our North American culture decrees that a girl can seek affection, but a boy is discouraged from doing so. If he seeks help, he is a sissy. One college counselor put it this way, "The girls from the women's college come into the office with their problems, and sometimes cry. The boys come in and fight against revealing their feelings, and this slows down the problem-solving process." The roles we play affect these differences.
In our culture girls may shed tears. This is even expected. They may let off steam in ways that are denied to boys. A father tells his son, "Don't cry," "Get up, be a man," "There is nothing to be afraid of." When little sister is afraid, she is soothed. We hear the parent say, "She can ride as well as a boy,"out rarely do we hear, "My boy can cook as well as a girl." .
The press for masculinity often begins before it has any real meaning. Many fathers (not all) equate roughness and toughne'ss with being a male. Often boys are called upon to prove the~ masculinity in athletics, even fighting, whether or not they are so inclined.
In their earlier years boys spend most of their time in a woman's world. In the home and in the school women set their standards ("Be nice, like your sister"). Tnese standards sometimes conflict with those that prevail in the man's world; yet'the father says raising children is a mother's job ..
Boys, as well as girls, need reassurance in the trials and tribulations of growing up. Girls get reassurance from Mother, but often boys do not get if from Father. A father should try to involve his son in some of his activities. Just having the son near him assures the boy of his father's affection. Problems in adolescents sometimes can be traced :0 early boyhood in which the child felt father rejection. In our culture 'ving in a man's world does not come so readily for the boy as living in woman's world does for the young girl. But she too soon runs into onftict as to her role in our changing culture.
