Communication And Marriage
It has been said that happiness in marriage centers on sharing common interests, friendships, and levels of aspiration. However, the communication may be the most important ingredient of all. And it should be clear by now that communication isn't just talking. It may consist of some things net said, if these would break down the exchange of ideas. Insulting one's in-laws would certainly be an example of this. Marriage partners need not completely "bare their
ouls" to one another, but the thought that is not expressed verbally or nonverbally, cannot be understood. One couple spent almost three months in an unhappy "battle-ready" state, until the meticulous usband revealed that the wife neglecting to clean the cat hairs off he couch was terribly annoying to him. (Her instant remark "But that's crazy!" didn't do much for communication either.)
While the old saws about "getting things off your chest," and "not going to sleep mad" may hold a lot of truth, there are certain instances when arguments are unnecessary and a scene should be' avoided. If a problem has been building for weeks or months, by all means get it out in the open. If the sharp retort is simply the result of a bad mood, or of being sick or overtired, it is best left unexpressed. And remember, fighting or bickering can become a destructive habit, the cutting remark automatic. Since love, and the expression of love, breeds more love, isn't that the best possible thing to communicate?
