Do Women Break Up More Than Men?
If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, then most Martians find ways of living in their marriages long after the spark has gone out of it. Does the Martian have a greater sense of duty to the family than his partner from Venus, which keeps him in a non-working relationship? Or is he less likely to file for divorce because it would be a blow to his ego for having failed as a provider? Or is it a fear that judgments in a divorce will hurt him financially and he will lose custody of the children? It seems that whatever the relationship problems, men in greater numbers than women still prefer to keep the family intact.
Who Innitiates Most Breakups?
There is no doubt that women break up more than men. A study by law professor Margaret Brinig of George Mason University and Douglas Allen, economist at Vancouver's Simon Fraser University (American Law and Economics Review 2-1, 2000), found that of the 46,000 cases they researched, 60% of divorces were initiated by women. In states with "no-fault" divorce, the figure for women filing was 70%. Among college-educated couples, 90% of divorces were filed by wives. Today, it is estimated that two-thirds of all breakups, separations and divorcesare set in motion by the female partner.
Why do Women Initiate More Breakups?
So, what is it about modern marriage that is so dissatisfying to women? Why do they risk financial decline or a reduction in their standard of living? Why are they prepared to put their children through the trauma of removing the father from the household? It may seem strange, but most researchers confirm that women initiate breakups not because of the infidelity of the partner, or alcoholism, drug abuse, criminal behavior, financial problems or even physical abuse. They want to separate because of "spousal neglect." This is entirely an emotional issue and leaves the men from Mars scratching their heads. Sanford Braver, a psychologist from Arizona State University, surveyed 400 divorced couples and found that violence or abuse were "strikingly absent." Rather, the factors reported were, "spouse not able or willing to meet my needs" or "growing apart." In short, women initiate more breakups because their emotional needs are not being met.
Factors That Influence Breakups
Whatever the feelings of the spouses themselves, there are many societal factors that influence breakups. The sexual revolution of the sixties created a different atmosphere where monogamy is not valued as it used to be. There is no cultural stigma in being divorced, single or in re-marrying. A more open society, with Internet chat rooms and more single people "available," increases temptation and puts pressure on existing relationships. According to The National Center for Health Statistics, divorces and separations take on different features depending on the age of the partners, the length of the marriage, ethnicity, bi-racial factors, familial support, having children or being childless, and so on. What does seem clear is that women, all across the board, want more from their Martian men than they are getting. Some studies claim that female expectations of marriage are unrealistic. Even if this is true in some cases or is a partial cause, it doesn't explain the significant numbers of women (from all walks of life) who are prepared to go down the sad road of initiating a breakup.
