I want my home to be a refuge, a beautiful place to go and just be. With our busy lives, it is important to consider the home environment you wish to maintain, inspire, and protect. Is the freedom to be oneself in an atmosphere of love and acceptance important to you? Do you want your home to be a place of peace, calm, relaxation, and serenity? Do you envision your home to be a fun place filled with excitement and adventure?
How do we attain the home environment we want? One suggestion is to set up routines or rituals around main daily happenings.
Consider a few examples:
- Say grace or light a dinner candle at mealtimes. Design a system where everyone helps in the preparation or set up of the meal.
- Establish family time where everyone partakes in an after-dinner walk around the neighborhood together, hikes on weekends, or enjoys ‘game or movie night’.
- Make time for kisses and hugs at departures and greetings.
- Enjoy cuddles, story, or songs at bedtime.
- Create circle time where family members enjoy sharing talents, concerns, etc.
Is your environment nourishing and purposeful, or cluttered and draining? Our dwelling place is a sacred place and how we care for it will be reflected back on us. Foster an environment that allows you and your family to celebrate living together and build special memories.
Sewing Seeds of Discipline - True Freedom will be the Fruit
“Having rules and structure makes a child feel safe and secure, and teaches self-control and self-reliance,” ~Dr. Laurence Steinberg
Freedom may be defined as doing whatever one wants whenever one wants. That is one perspective. A child’s freedom can be more complex. Does that type of freedom lead to the fruition of our goals and dreams? In order to achieve, i.e. win a medal, buy a sports car, live in a beautiful mansion, raise a loving family, or have glowing health, etc., one must have learned how to do what it takes to accomplish those achievements. True freedom manifests for those with the ability to learn how to succeed and achieve. With learning comes discipline, rules, and parameters for living.
An easy way to instil in our children the freedom to be themselves with all their potential intact is to help them be unencumbered by destructive habits. A parent risks handicapping a child’s freedom if they fail to provide certain disciplines and structures into daily life. Here are some vital seeds of true freedom that you may want to ensure to inspire in your family:
- Food: It is important to maintain a balanced diet. Food is a basic need. If we are reckless with our diet, we handicap our abilities.
- Recreation: Plan and enjoy lots of family fun and recreation together. Exercise, explore, laugh, and go outside and get moving! TV and computer time are not part of the recommendations. Being out in nature is especially renewing. Hug or climb a tree!
- Sleep: How a child is ushered into the land of dreams is vital to how they experience their sleep, which in turn affects their waking life. Follow a regular bedtime routine that includes soothing rituals such as unwinding time, stories, prayers or songs, candlelight, and a half hour of quality time spent with a parent.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
You may have expected me to suggest acknowledging your ‘child’s’ feelings. Although this too is essential, of foremost importance is your ability to connect with yourself. If we do not master this undertaking for ourselves, it is nearly impossible to have the insight and wherewithal to know how to do this for our children. As a mom, we are ever important in their world and they naturally want and need to share their thoughts and feelings with us. Even in the face of unfavorable reactions or inappropriate behaviour, we must appreciate that our children are expressing themselves. We need to ‘feel it to heal it’ and the only way to ‘get passed it is to go through it’. To position yourself and your child for more effective communication, I strongly recommend the book, ‘How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk’ by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish and/or ‘Non-Violent Communication’ by Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD. Through these books, you can learn the language of compassion that you probably were never taught. I have changed from dreading moments of stress and disharmony with my children to treating them as opportunities for practice sessions following tips from these books.
