Compliments are universal. Everyone loves them, so why is it that people tend to not bother with them? Don’t people know that compliments can really help things get far? A compliment here and there really can help relationships, possibly even failing ones.
So why is it that a compliment sounds to be such a powerful thing? That would be because they are. We are all human, and as a human we love to feel appreciated and admired at times. Too many times does life bring one down, well what brings a person up? That would be a compliment. We all like them, if not all the time. More so when it’s given by someone we would like to get to know better, a loved one, a date or your girl/boyfriend. Feeling loved is what we love.
So it comes as no surprise when you read about King Solomon when you find out that he wrote hundreds of proverbs, which became part of The Bible’s Old Testament about compliments and the power of them. He wrote that, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. As well as, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”
Understand them? It’s saying that kind words heal a person. That compliments are beautiful things. It’s saying that such words will have a wonderfully positive effect on the one receiving the compliments. Inspirational words will always brighten the lives of those that get them. And that’s because mankind will always be mankind. And this man was born hundreds of years ago. The principle remains the same even to this day, compliments do more then make a persons day, then and now. Guess it also comes as no surprise when you hear that this man was documented by historians as one of the wisest men to have ever lived.
And it just so happens to be that psychologists have recognized compliments to be the ‘secret’ to a long lasting, wonderful relationship. They say that our love for one another is strongly influenced by just how that other special someone makes us feel about ourselves in a great way. We all know that feeling good about yourself is one of the best feelings you can have. And that the opposite can lead to some bad crap. And therefore it’s normal that we will always be drawn to those that make us feel good about ourselves. It’s pretty much a game of self esteem. It’s normal human reaction to crave appreciation for what they do and are. The couples you see all lovey dovey and together forever and all that are the ones that keep each other feeling special, and you do that by sorts of compliments.
To avoid confusion let me get a few things straight here for you all. We aren’t talking about faking things here. Don’t be a faker or a phony flatterer. You can only fool someone for so long and once they find out it will bite you in the butt. Unless you would want to date a liar, don’t be one yourself, got it? Stay true, sincere and honest. Bring out the good in someone. As I mentioned we are humans, and humans adapt. Lying happens all the time and we’ve learned to figure out when someone is. Try to make it romantic too, everyone loves that.
So! When you go to tell someone a compliment keep this ideas in mind before you do:
You got to focus on the specifics. Be to the point, get deep and passionate about the compliments. Make them unique to make them feel like its not something everyone says to their own loved one. Fill it with details so it doesn’t sound like you were reading off a card or in general compliments. Now there’s nothing wrong with short things that aren’t really that detailed. But this is your loved one we’re talking about here, don’t make her/him feel second rate. If you want to keep them then work on keeping them. If they feel second rate I doubt they will stay forever. Don’t worry about overdoing it either, everyone likes constant compliments.
When you say these compliments, say it like you mean it and make sure you mean it. A lot of people get embarrassed to show a loving emotional side of themselves. Don’t be. Mean what you say, who cares if there’s someone nearby, show your loved one that doesn’t matter and that you love them no matter who’s watching. Don’t pat them on the back and say, “Good job.” Instead hug them and say, “I love you.” Which brings me to #3:
Go public with it. If you really want your loved one to feel really loved, express your love in public areas. That doesn’t mean making out with them in a crowd, but like when eating out or out taking a walk, perhaps at a carnival say some nice things to him/her. Maybe hug them, swing them a bit and make them smile. Praise them publicly.
And here’s one of my favorites. I like this one because it keeps them guessing when they may get another and it makes them want more. It keeps a game between the two going which keeps them together, and that is putting it in writing. Leave a note on their desk for them to read later, toss a note at them from across the room. Leave an open notebook on a counter where you two keep taking turns writing things you love about each other. Or as I did, before I left my girlfriends after a trip to her place I hid a mini notebook with 170 things I loved about her for her to find, I didn’t tell her what it was. She now keeps it in a safe loving place and reads it when she misses me.
So if a real relationship is what you’re looking for in life, keep these in mind. Ask yourself what would your lover love to hear about his/herself, and who cares if it’s a repeat because even those are loved just as much.
