How to's: From Just Friend to Boyfriend and then Love

You know everything about one another. You were there when his dog Skip died and he helped you laugh at that horrible haircut (and convince you that it didn't actually make you look like a teenage boy). Now you're starting to think that your special connection might be even more special that you originally thought. If you find yourself thinking, "I'm in love with my best friend," you're not alone. Falling for your best bud can be one of the best things ever, but it isn't without its share of pitfalls.

Getting up the Nerve

Sometimes the hardest part about making the transition from just friends to more than friends is having the courage to admit to your feelings. First, you must ask yourself honestly how you feel. Is this a passing feeling? Is this spurred on by circumstances surrounding your relationship? Or, is this true love blooming slowly between you and your guy friend? Take care to not come out with a bold declaration on a whim.

Choosing the Right Time

Choosing the right time and place is important when telling him that you love him. You don't want a location that leaves him feelings trapped, nor do you want the possibility of roommates, parents, or children walking in during a key moment. Somewhere private but with a feel of being in public is best--say a park or a casually intimate restaurant. Be wary of crowded places or bars- liquid courage is not the kind of courage best for this situation! Somewhere that has a romantic feel could backfire on you if your feelings are not returned, so aim for somewhere that has meaning to both of you, such as the coffee shop you met in or the library where you two used to help one another study. Most important, be honest and open when admitting you love your best friend.


Now What?

Shifting a relationship from friends to a romantic relationship can be tricky. You might not know how to behave or suddenly be shy about things you wouldn't have thought twice about in the past. Open communication is key during this time. If you can be in love with your best friend, you can talk about what that means for your relationship. Remember that things that might not have bothered you as a friend may irk you as a girlfriend, so be sure to share how you're feeling. However, try to remember that he is used to interacting with you in a certain way, and it will take time to feel one another out in this new role. Try to be understanding as you both adjust to this new and exciting level of your relationship.

One of the best things about dating best friends is that the two of you probably already have a lot of common interests, so you'll always have something to do together. Use these common interests as springing off point for dates and activities. Don't think that just because you've already hung out together you don't have to make an effort when it comes to dating. If you want to make romance and intimacy a priority, you need to take time together. Also, avoid jumping into a highly physical relationship. It's easy to cross lines you normally wouldn't with your best friend because you already know him so well, but going too far too fast physically might put a premature end to this potentially life-long relationship. Do yourself a favor and take things slow. Don't make exceptions to rules you normally set for yourself. By laying a foundation of trust and intimacy first, dating your best friend can be one of most rewarding relationships you'll ever experience.