How to recover Break Up?

Knowing When It's Over and How to Move On

Dumping someone or being the one dumped is no easy task and either is certainly a devastating blow to the human ego.  Male or female, the feeling of rejection is about equal to being literally dumped and buried in a gigantic, remote landfill of smelly rotten rubbage. How do we drag ourselves out of this debilitating situation. How do we follow through with new beginnings instead of falling back into that old relationship that is no longer right for you or the other person involved?

Breakup Advice When You Know It's the Right Thing to Do

Just one problem with being dumped is that we've had a taste of what being with that person is like and the nostalgia of how it was, which makes being dumped or dumping someone just that much harder. This is merely one of many obstacles you will encounter.  Take this breakup advice and learn how to know when the relationship is over and what it's going to take to move on.

Most advice on breaking up will suggest coming to grips with the fact that being dumped is not always your fault, which can sometimes be a sign of worse things to come. It's advisable to view breaking up as a blessing rather than an ego crusher. In most cases this breakup advice is right on the money but what they fail to point out is that getting past the break up is also much easier by preparing for it ahead of time.

The truth is that self blame is a natural compulsion intended to inflict large amounts of guilt simply from finding fault and pity. "If I'd done this differently or that better we'd still be together", is the classic self beat down everyone resorts to after an unforeseen breakup.

But if the breakup is anticipated from keen observations of the signs that the relationship has ended, bracing for it is much easier, not to mention quicker to get over.  Remember breakup advice is generalized and meant to target specific issues and methods of breakup recovery.  Working with those breakup tips along with a few more will be the most important first step to moving on.

One of the first and most obvious signs the relationship is ending is when he stops making plans that include both of you.  For example, he decides he's going to the family reunion alone instead of taking you but before you attended every family gathering his family threw.  Or he decides he wants to spend more time with his friends and says "I just want time to myself with the boys" when before he wanted to double date with friends already in relationships.

These are warning signs that the relationship is heading for the ole' heave hoe.  Usually this happens some time before the actual event so there's time to prepare.  This is when making few plans of your own is very important rather than sitting around sulking in sorrowful pity, which is a big waste of time.

Take advantage of this time to fill in the missing gaps of time away from him, so when the breakup occurs all that spare time won't come as a big shock.  For some of us, however, it is easier said than done, still it's good common sense that should be considered.

Another obvious sign of a breakup that can be seen ahead of time is cheating, which by the way is one of the most common reasons relationships end.  This is according to breakup statistics conducted over a 5 year study, which showed that at least 3 out of 5 relationships ended in breakups because of cheating or being overly flirtatious.

Most often cheating comes as a big surprise for the unsuspecting faithful partner in the relationship, however cheating doesn't have to be a surprise, if the signs are seen early enough.  Here are the top three warning signs that he's cheating and the relationship is ending:

• He lied about being in a relationship at the beginning. This is the classic red flag trait of a cheater.
• He says he has a lot of female friends in the beginning. This is called prepping for his relationship with other women to cut down on suspicion.
• He suddenly loses interest in being intimate. Flashing red warning sign that the relationship is ending and a sign that it's time to move on.

Remember breakup red flags aren't meant to hurt us or to point out faults but to show where things are headed in time to take heed.  And obviously a cheating lover is no one's fault but his, so get the idea that his cheating behaviorwas your fault, completely out of your head. That sort of thinking is absolutely insane.

Although this is a typical feeling women get when they discover a cheating lover, the truth is no one can be turned into a cheater.  They've always been a cheater and once they realize that they had us distracted with the relationship, they went back to those old ways.  It never fails and advice on breakups tells us, men aren't made to cheat they simply cheat because they can. The bottom line is noticing a cheater before it becomes evident in the breakup surprise.

The third most common reason relationships breakup with very clear warning signs that the relationship is headed for an abrupt end is dishonesty and secrecy.  This reason goes hand in hand with cheating.

There is not one relationship that could survive without trust and openness. These are common ingredients to a healthy relationship and advice and experience should tell us that it's more than likely that dishonesty or secrets is what causes someone to have something to hide.

Secrecy and dishonesty should never be taken lightly within a relationship.  Even those little white lies that he so effortlessly tells are little white signs of a future breakup, often because of trust issues.   No matter what the color of the lie is, a lie is a lie and this should be examined more closely to avoid the devastation of a break up.

Advice on relationship breakups are tools of knowledge meant to empower the broken hearted and weary who are most impacted by the break up.  And because everyone handles break ups differently the best method to recovery isseeing the breakup coming and bracing for the impact which will invoke a rapid recovery.  That's the best breakup advice any one can give.