Changing Patterns
Male and female of any generation have, of course, always gotten together for basically the same reasons-companionship, mating, sex, and sometimes just to keep from being alone. But while the. reasons have not changed significantly over the years, the patterns have. In some circles "gatherings" halve supplanted the formalities associated with "dating," where boy calls girl, and for sound. logical reasons Such reasons range from more freedom of exploration by both sexes t less dependence on tradition: "I'm going over to--. Come along."
The concept of dating, regardless of the current in-words used to describe it, still includes "paired association of members of th opposite sex without references to the intent to marry." It is. in effect an exploratory or scarch process with a variety of motives. Even the settings far getting together have changed. Gane are the rumble seat days af the thirties and the lave-in arrangements of the sixties. Settings and getting tagether taday center an two. things. First, pairing off is mare spantaneaus. Secand, there is less separatian af rale behaviors by couples; duties, for example, are no. langer automatically labeled "masculine" ar "feminine." And the in-wards come and go. very rapidly. "Graaving" gave way to. "digging." Tamarraw's in-wards are difficult to. predict. Words, of course, reinforce aur ways of feeling, thinking, and behaving, and we sametimes come back to. canventional words far purpases af cammunicatian. Bath "dating" and "caurtship" seem to. fall in this categary. Dating, far its many and varied reasans, contrasts with the concept of courtship, which invalves abligations to carry thraugh to marriage.
Dating as a farm af social behavier has been viewed by cynic, critic, premoter, and researcher. Some centent that dating is a barrier to happiness in marriage and that en dates the girl must learn to. pratect herself against the boy's sexual advances. Others believe that it is a form of social behavior largely daminated by a quest for thrills, sametimes through deceit in the pretense of love and devatian. And still athers say that it is a built-in trap to promote marriage. Many have wandered what alternatives might take the place af this widespread custam.
The advantages af dating have been equally tauted. Dating is partly educatianal, helping us learn to. adjust to members af the appasite sex and gain poise and ease in social situatians. It helps us learn to. cantrol behavior, evaluate persanality types, and build up cancepts of right and wrong. Dating is a means af mixing and having a good time sacially, while defining the roles af the sexes.
