Mind Workouts for Better Mental Health

 One of the secrets of a successful life is to be able to hold all of our energies upon one point, to focus all of the scattered rays of the mind upon one place or thing.       -Orison Swett, Iron Will
Physical workouts are an amazing tool for training your mind to be able to focus on the task at hand, and not be distracted by anything else.  Some people refer to this kind of focus as, "getting in the zone" -- others call it "being in the present".  Your brain is, by far, operating in it's most powerful state when you are entirely focused on one task and not distracted by anything else.  It is also one of the reasons I see a benefit in making some of your workouts very intense.  High intensity requires focus -- ignoring things like pain and fatigue while focusing entirely on executing the exercise -- whether it's staying with the beat of music or maintaining a certain running pace.  You see, workouts aren't just about the body, they are also about the mind.
Mental focus is skill, and as such, it can be trained with practice, just like anything else.  Even longer, lower intensity exercise can be good for training mental focus.  A marathon is an extreme example of this.  When running a marathon, a very important mental skill is to be able to focus on the current mile (or quarter mile) and to complete that distance at your goal pace.  Letting your mind dwell on things like having 20 miles left can completely overwhelm you and swallow your confidence.  While we definitely plan for the big picture beforehand, during the actual race, being able to mentally stay in the moment is a very important skill.
It is only by continued, strenuous efforts, repeated again and again, day after day, week after week, and month after month, that the ability can be acquired to fasten the mind to one subject, however abstract or knotty, to the exclusion of everything else.  The process of obtaining this self-mastery--this complete command of ones mental powers--is a gradual one, it's length varying with the mental constitution of each person; but it's acquisition is worth infinitely more than the utmost labor it ever costs. --Professor Matthews
While workouts are a very powerful way to train mental focus, you can also practice this incredible skill throughout the day.  This is one of the reasons that todo lists are so effective; they allow you to focus on one thing at a time and complete it using all of your attention, without your mind churning constantly with worry about other things you have to do.
Another very effective time to practice mental focus is when going to sleep.  Fix your mind on one specific thing, like relaxed muscles, or how good your pillow feels and try to hold onto that thought only and nothing else.  This gets easier and easier the more you do it and it is also extremely helpful for those who have difficulty falling asleep because their minds are always racing.
Multitasking is Bad
A counterproductive practice is multitasking; this is when your mind is operating at it's worst.
According to Earl Miller, Neuroscientist at MIT, "Switching from task to task, you think you're actually paying attention to everything around you at the same time.  But you're actually not.  People can't multitask very well and when people say they can, they're deluding themselves."
I believe it is important to train ourselves to avoid the habit of multitasking.  Whenever you realize you are multitasking, stop and focus every ounce of your attention on the highest priority task and then move to the next thing.  The end result is always much better.
Mind and Body
I hope this post provides more appreciation for the fact that workouts not only develop a healthier body, but a healthy mind as well.  In addition to improved mood, reduced stress, increased neural activity -- they can also be used to improve the extremely valuable skill of mental focus.

Tips to Reduce Stress in Your Life

According to cardiologist, endocrinologist and other health care providers, all forms of emotional stress such as depression, worry, anxiety and even anger can lead both indirectly and directly to a heart attack.  Women more than men, suffer from a number of these stress related conditions thereby raising the level of risk in women for heart attacks.  Handling those stress hormones for better heart health is essential.  Your choices regarding sleeping, eating, exercising and just plain resting are absolutely the key to your personal plan for stress reduction.

Know the Stressors and Reduce Them
It's a known fact that women suffer from stress hormone related heart attacks and other health problems directly related to the long term effects of chronic stressors.  Stress hormones are hormones released by the endocrine system when triggered by the "Fight or Flight" response in the body. Cortisol, norepinephrine, and GH (growth hormones) can all be responsible for various malfunctions in the body including heart trouble, if they are uncontrolled and misinterpreted by the body.  Stress reduction must be practiced frequently to give the body a chance to normalize.  A tired body sets herself up to read the chemical and hormonal signals that are meant to protect.  A body stretched beyond capacity week after week is missing cues and basically running herself, engine wise, into the ground.

The Love Connection
Women hormonally and by nature, are tuned in to respond emotionally to the rigors of interaction.  The very hormones that keep the nesting instincts alive and the cuddle instinct on the burner, can work to our disadvantage when we don't understand how to disengage for our health's sake. Stress reduction is the only answer.

Women have a tendency to hold on to emotional stress longer than men and longer than recommended.  When the body is held at a heighten level of emotional stress for a prolonged period of time the stress hormones released by the endocrine system inadvertently attack specific organs causing them to function abnormally and eventually leading to serious complications like heart attacks.

Stress related heart attacks are the number one killer of women, therefore finding methods to handle stress hormones associated with stress related heart attacks is curtail to sustain a strong and healthy heart.

These hormones are meant to prepare the body's reactions to stressful situations that activate functions such as raised metabolisms, increased breathing and tachycardia (fast heart rate).  When the body does not return to normal hormonal levels complications arise, including high blood pressure, weight problems, hyperventilation and heart attacks.  Reducing stressors for better heart health can be accomplished by considering these few methods.

STRESS REDUCTION TECHNIQUES

Meditation - Much like giving a hyperactive child a time-out, women also require a time-out from time-to-time when dealing with stressful situations.  Meditating is a great way to reduce the level of stress hormones in the system, plus it slows down breathing to prevent hyperventilation and restores the heart rates to normal.  Simply finding a quiet place to spend at least 10-15 minutes to clear the mind is vital to handling stress and improving heart health. Go online and locate your ideal meditating techniques.
Rest - It is common for women who have a tremendous amount of emotional stress to neglect a very critical component neccessary to remain healthy:  Sleep!  Most often high levels of stress will manifest in insomnia making the ability to rest difficult; therefore many women, under the pressure of stress hormones, fail to get sufficient rest to help the body recover.  Set the stage for an early bedtime, turn off all the emotional stresses of the day and assist the body to naturally handle stress hormones for enhanced wellbeing.
Exercise - Emotional stress can be combated by increasing physical activity.  This means conforming to routine exercise, which will help control breathing patterns and condition the heart and lungs, to better handle the stress hormonal effects and promote overall physical fitness.  Overall physical fitness is known to help women control stressful situations better; thus allowing better control of stress hormones; improving the heart's functionality and controlling weight that can also lead to heart problems. Exercising is a win-win situation with multiple benefits.
Soothing activities - Gain immediate relief from stress hormones  by simply relaxing.  Well, maybe not so simple.  But worth whatever it takes.  While this may seem obvious, most women under emotional stress find relaxing is a difficult task. Find something that calms your emotional state and nerves especially when experiencing anger, worry and anxiety.  This will slow down the production and release of the stress hormones.  Try taking a soothing hot bath; full body or foot massages are great; or take a short walk, play with an animal like a dog or cat and drink calming teas.  Anything that can help put those stress hormones in check.
Finding something to take the mind off of stress and soothe the senses will, without a doubt, alleviate those stress hormone effects for better heart health.  Join a gym and consult a trainer.  If your health is already impaired, it is always best to consult with a physician on other possible stress reducing methods to promote a healthier heart and longer life spans.

6 Daily Life Tips to Relieve Stress

There are so many sources of stress these days that it is often difficult to overcome. Coping with stress has been a focus of employers, health insurance agencies, and medical professionals as stress has been linked to many different health issues. Unfortunately it is nearly impossible to avoid stress but there are many different things that we can do to help ourselves deal with the stress in our lives.  Coping with stress techniques are things that should become habits in your daily or weekly routines so that they are effective. Start by trying one technique at a time to see if the technique calms you even a bit. The more you practice a technique, the more it should help you deal with the stress in your life.

Handling Stress
Dealing with stress isn't easy and most people need more than one technique to be effective at handling it. Also stress from different sources may require different techniques to handle it. This is why it is important to have many different stress handling techniques that you can turn to as needed. Most techniques focus on relaxing your mind and many also focus on relaxing your body.

Writing

Many people find that writing in a journal relives their stress. A stress journal can be used to document different things that are bothering you each day which can help you manage your stress or find better coping techniques. Other people just write in a journal as a way to let their emotions out, especially after an emotionally stressing day.


Releasing feelings

Writing isn't for everyone and writing about your feelings isn't always enough of a release. Some people need to release their feelings through talking to others. Friends and family can be great for this but they may be too biased about the situation to help without adding more stress. A clergy or a counselor can often be a more helpful option for releasing feelings.


Making time for an activity that you enjoy

Time is one of the biggest causes of stress in almost every one's life yet time is needed to release stress. Coping with stress shouldn't be stressful; the key is to set aside time for an activity and then to not stress about that time. Remind yourself that you deserve some time for an activity that you enjoy doing. Tell yourself that you are doing it for your own medical health, peace of mind, or whatever reason you need to tell yourself so that you don't stress over the time that the activity takes. This activity can be anything you enjoy whether it is reading a book, tending to your garden, playing with your dog, or volunteering with an organization. Remember that this time is 'me time' and do an activity that makes you happy.

Meditating

Many people find meditating for even 10 minutes a day helps them to relieve stress. Other people have a very hard time emptying their mind and therefore find that trying to meditate causes them more stress. Something as simple as taking a couple of minutes in your car listening to your favorite before you go into work can help, as long as your mind isn't doing anything more than concentrating on the song.

Exercising

For many people, exercising is the best technique they have in overcoming stress. Even simply performing stretching exercises at work can relieve muscle tension which helps to manage stress. Yoga is a great form of exercise that also allows your mind to relax.

Coping with stress techniques are things that should become habits in your daily or weekly routines so that they are effective. Start by trying one technique at a time to see if the technique calms you even a bit. The more you practice a technique, the more it should help you deal with the stress in your life.

How to avoid having problems?

The rise and popularity of the self-help movement is enough to astonish anyone. It is something that has not been confined to one country or culture, either. It has swept most industrialized countries the world over. Yet, it is also accused of preying on vulnerable people, taking advantage of their need for gratification and an ego-trip. This is partly where the anti-self help movement comes in to argue that the entire approach taken by most self-help gurus is one that sets the average person up for a big let down in the end.

 “Just Stop Having Problems, Stupid.”

People sick of self-help programs, aids, and books have put together a new movement. This movement is focused on a different approach to life and the self. Instead of building people up to believe that they are capable of any number of amazing feats, it stresses the importance and value of self acceptance vs self help. This is a drastic shift from the diatribe of the self-help gurus that insist that everyone is capable of moving beyond their faults. Instead of attempting to conceal character flaws, or recreate oneself, people are encouraged to accept their flaws as a part of who they are. Each individual is valuable just as he or she is. This is the underlying message of the anti self help movement.

The new movement does incorporate many features of the self-help and support group culture. For example, it is actually quite easy in most cities to find a twelve-step program for self-acceptance. In these programs the goal is not to overcome faults or move beyond perceived failures at all. The purpose is to recognize faults, and then accept them as a part of the self. This new movement is made up a variety of people. Of course there are those that have tried everything else and are now sick of self-help programs and books that continually lead them to believe that they can overcome aspects of their own personalities or characters. It also includes those that have been critical of the self-help movement from the very beginning. Many people view the basis of self-help programs as nothing more than a set up for failure. It teaches people to have inflated egos, and more confidence than they should, only so that they will be bound to fail in the end. There is no way for a person to live up to the standards that she sets for herself when she is expecting flawless execution of a task on her own part. Furthermore, it teaches people that are too critical of themselves that this criticism could make things much worse and that they need new habits or outlooks on life in order to be successful, and these new outlooks perhaps should be less self-critical or even less self-centered in approach. Concentrating on the universe outside the ego maybe the way to go instead of constantly focusing inward all the time.

Coming from a vantage point of self-acceptance programs, or the anti-self help movement, a person is far more likely to be successful if she has taken the time to get over her own shortcomings and accept them, and finally reckogonize the outside. Once accepted then she can begin to devise ways to cope with the outside world so that she can still succeed in her job, or her endeavors at home and in relationships. Although the culture and set-up of the programs may seem incredibly similar, there is an unmistakable paradigm shift in the actual content from the inner world, to the more practical outside world that we all share.

Happiness Hormones: The way to happiness

Most people in Western countries possess more material wealth than their parents ever had. However, the percentage of happy people has not increased. Scientists have finally proven that female hormones do play a significant role in mood, attitude, and outlook. Health, happiness, and hormones are intricately interconnected in ways we are only beginning to understand.

The Way to Happiness

As we age, hormones begin to decrease in our bodies. By the age of 22, hormonal growth starts its downfall. Ladies, you have an excuse for your wrinkles, damp skin, or fat bottoms! Here's another good fact: female hormonal balance can be restored by using natural hormones to decrease memory loss, thyroid abnormal functionality, extra weight, emotional hazards, fatigue and a weakened immune system. For such symptoms, women are usually prescribed medication.

First of all, you need to know that hormonal dysfunction can be asymptomatic at the beginning. You may have the weird feeling that there's something wrong with you, but no doctor would be able to detect any physical symptoms. Trust your instincts and look for a health care provider that will take your claims seriously. The messy effects of your hormonal range may cause problems not only to your libido, but also to your brain, bones, heart, muscles or skin.

The hormones responsible for your well being are serotonin (a.k.a "the hormone of happiness"), progesterone (the "p" hormone), testosterone (yes, ladies, you have it too but in smaller doses) and oxytosin (this hormone is referred to as "the orgasm hormone"). There are natural ways to balance the hormones in our bodies and live a long, happy life. All it takes is some research and the help of a medical professional that understands female hormones and happiness.
Here are a few easy steps to help you maintain balanced hormones:

• Get seven to nine hours of sleep.
• Take Omega 3 supplements – preferably 3 capsules per day.
• Choose your skincare and make-up products more carefully. Metylparaben and proplyparaben are bad news for your skin!
• Don't drink water that has been bottled in plastic. Also, store your food in glass containers.
• Frequently wash your hands.
• Practice some form of meditation, prayer, or other relaxation technique on a daily basis.
• Make long term plans for your life.
• Don't drink more than 4 alcoholic drinks a week and don't smoke at all.
• Take your vitamins and minerals. They help you stay away from diseases.

6 Tips to Set and Achieve Personal Goals

It seems you can't listen to the news without hearing some story about health problems. Despite the fact that more and more people are becoming aware of the importance of healthy lifestyles, we continue to ensnare ourselves in unhealthy eating and living habits. Healthy living is a desire for most, but it seems that only a few can actually achieve it. The rest of us can only conceive of healthy living as an unattainable feat. The first step towards living a healthy life is setting health goals.

Health Goal Setting

The main reason for setting health goals is to know what you're going after and why you're going after it. Goals will also help you be accountable. Health goals will help you keep focused by aligning your actions to correspond with those goals and forcing you to plan a way you'll achieve results. There are fundamental guidelines to follow when setting health goals.

Identify Specific Goals

There are different reasons why people may want to change their lifestyles to healthier ones, For some, it may be to improve their body image. Others might want to raise their self esteem. Still others want to improve their general well being. Most would advise you to base your goals around one of the three reasons mentioned above. After that, you can break your goals down into smaller, measureable pieces. For example, if you want to improve your body image, you might begin by trying to loose 10% of your total body weight. It may seem like a small amount, but even a few pounds of weight loss will result in looking and feeling better.

Measure Your Goals

If you would like to see any real progress, it's imperative for you to be able to measure your progress. Generally feeling good about yourself is not enough. You will truly feel great if you are able to measure where you've come from, how far you've moved along and how much more you have to go. Creating measurable goals will be more realistic and help you keep track of your progress.

Set a Timetable for Your Goals

Having a timetable or finish date will help you keep track of time used and wasted and also how much effort is put into seeing your goals come to fulfillment. This can be done by ticking the days that you worked on your goals and leaving the ones where you didn't blank. At the end of the week, you'll be able to make an evaluation of how keen you were on seeing your goals come to pass. Have a finite objective with a date attached. For example, you may want to try eating vegetarian meals for one week or commit to working out 3 days a week for one month. Start with small goals and get bigger as you are motivated by your success.

Set Achievable and Realistic Goals

It would be a disappointment to set goals that are way too high for you to attain. These unrealistic goals will only serve to discourage you and leave you feeling empty at the end of the day. Begin with small goals. Although they are small, at least you'll count these goals as achievements once you accomplish them.

Choose Someone to Help You Be Accountable

It is so easy for you to start out at the beginning with a lot of fervor then lose it somewhere in the middle. Slowly but surely you'll soon be slipping back into your former unhealthy lifestyle. This is why it's important to make yourself accountable by sharing your goals with a trustworthy friend that will support your efforts. Make a plan to report to this person regularly so that you feel responsible for your goals.

Health and fitness goals will benefit us greatly in the long run, but to accomplish them, we must be prepared to pay the price.

The living will can create peace of mind

Writing a living will is perhaps something none of us want to talk about or even think about, but even if you are currently in perfect health, it's always a good idea to think about a living will and what your wishes would be in the case of a serious accident. Writing a living will is not as challenging as it may first seem with the proper professional help and planning. If you do one thing for your family this month, write a living will and save them the potential heart ache of having to make decisions for you.

Living Will Creates Family Peace of Mind

A living will is one of the most important documents that a person can complete. Not only will it give you piece of mind, but a living will can create peace of mind for your entire family. Some of us don't want to talk about such matters or even think about them because we're young and in good health. Some may wonder, what is a living will? A living will is a document that gives instructions on how to proceede with medical decesions in the event that you are not mentally capable of deciding for yourself.

Scary as it may be, we all face the possibility of having a serious accident and being unable to communicate our wishes. If you were to become unconscious because of such an accident, who would speak for you? There is the possibility of facing a serious illness or being left in a vegetative state. If you don't make your wishes clear in writing, your family won't be sure what to do or even worse, a judge may make the decisions for you. A living will is your assurance that your wishes will be carried out. Failing to put your wishes in writing can lead to a lot of unrest in your family, so a living will is a very important document to let your family know what your feelings are regarding these issues.

Your next question is probably, "how do I write a living will?" The first step is to make some hard decisions. The first thing you'll need to decide is who your executor, or the person who is responsible for carrying out your wishes, will be. Often times the exeucutor of a living will is a spouse, responsible child, or legal representative. Next, you'll need to make a list of your assessts and decide where they should go in the event of your death or serious mental impairment. Your assests include everything from personal memetos to mutal funds and retirement savings. Make a note of any special items you want to leave to specific people. If you have dependent children, you will have to make the difficult choice of who will become their legal gaurdian in the event you are unable to care for them. It's also wise to choose a back up guardian in case your first choice in unable to care for the children for some reason.

You'll need to clarify your wishes for medical treatement in your living will. If you don't want to be placed on life support, make that known. If you want a DNR, (do not resuscitate) then make this clear. If you want to be an organ donor, this is something else you can state in your living will. You will also need to specify where and how you want to place your remains in the event of your death (i.e. burial, creamation, donation, etc.)

Most living wills can be obtained online or from your lawyer's office. It's important to know which type of living will your state will acknowledge. For example, the five wishes document, which is one of the most popular living wills because of the fact that its written in plain English, isn't acknowledged in all states. If you obtain your documents online, do the necessary research to find out if this living will is going to be accepted in your state. The next thing to do is go over the document carefully, read each part and make sure you've filled it out correctly, making your wishes abundantly clear. Choose two responsible adults to serve as witnesses of the document (one is usually your lawyer). If necessary, give your executor a Power of Attorney, just to make sure that no one will try to overturn his or her decisions on your behalf. A living will can give your and your family added piece of mind. Don't put off writing this important document. We never know what the future may hold.

The Happiness and Serotonin

It's an almost magical connection.  How can we maintain the balance that is so important to our mental wellness in our stressful lives.  We've known for a long time that serotonin is one of the amazingly powerful substances related to depressive mood disorders.  Are foods that increase serotonin a good idea?  We know that many perscription medications used to control depression have concentrated on inhibiting serotonin loss or adding more through supplementation.

However, recent research has determined that most serotonin coming into the body from prescription drugs ends up in the gut and has difficulty passing to where it is needed, beyond the blood-brain barrier.  Therefore serotonin never makes it to the central nervous system and the brain where it is desperately needed. The key to raising serotonin levels includes understanding nutrition and increasing trytophan and folic acid intake to make the most of our food's value.  Simply eating foods that contain serotonin won't do the trick.

Serotonin and Tryptophan the "Feel Good" Connection
Serotonin levels affect mood, appetite, sleep, and sexuality. Low serotonin can cause depression, anger, and insomnia, and mental malaise.  This leads to an inability to face life challenges. Normally we have thought we need the help of psychiatric drugs that treat depression to raise our serotonin levels.Researchers are now looking at foods that boost serotonin levels. Serotonin along with dopamine is highly affected by the foods we eat. However, foods containing serotonin do not raise our serotonin levels as serotonin does not pass directly from our intestines through our blood to the place it is needed in the brain.  Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors are considered one way to maintain better levels in the brian.

A myriad of reuptake inhibitors and tricyclics have caused untold side effects for patients and done actually very little to speed up the slow painful progress toward lifting depression once serotonin levels have gone out of balance.  We are learning through nutritional and digestive research that there may be other more organic and body friendly ways to fight serotonin depression.  More and more nutrition including foods high in serotonin are being recognized as a factor to mental and physical health since this substance functions in the nerve bundles of the serotonin brain as a neurotransmitter.

Tryptophan, an essential amino acid, can easily be absorbed through digestion into our blood brain barrier. Our bodies are unable to produce trytophan and so we rely on our diet to continually fill this void. Trytophan is a biochemical precursor to serotonin.  Eating foods which contain the amino acid tryptophan can help increase levels in serotonin in the brain. However, tryptophan has to compete with other amino acids for brain absorption. Eating high protein diet creates the  release of too many competing amino acids.  High glycemic foods that boost serotonin like breads, pasta, and potatoes cause spikes and drops in insulin and blood sugar levels.  For some the result is almost like a roller coaster of ups and downs in energy and mood.

However, eating whole grains by themselves without any proteins allows better and slower absorption of trytophan, reduces competing amino acids, and assists the body in maintaining good levels of serotonin in your body. Also eating meat by itself can also help increase the absorption of trytophan.  This actually is good reason to look at food combining habits in a new light.

Let's debunk some of the myths.  Studies have shown that turkey contains almost the same amount of serotonin tryptophan as chicken, duck, and eggs. What may be referred to as the post Thanksgiving drowsiness may have more to do with the high number of carbohydrates than it does with the amount of tryptophan contained in turkey. Some of the best sources for tryptophan (foods that boost serotonin and foods that increase serotonin) are eggs, turkey, poultry, cottage cheese, chickpeas, sesame seeds, sunflower seeds, walnuts, bananas, mangos, oats, and spirulina.

Most depressed people have also been found to have a diet insufficient in folic acid. Folic acid, like tryptophan is the precursor to serotonin and can cross the blood brain barrier. Eating foods with more folic acid increases serotonin levels in the brain. The best sources of folic acid or folate are chicken liver, lentils, kidney beans, black beans, chickpeas, oranges, melons, strawberries, leafy greens, broccoli, spinach, and asparagus.

Serotonin is your key to being happy.   But resolving a serotonin imbalance is more complicated then just taking it as a supplement or trying to use chemicals in your brain to change the metabolism of serotonin in the body.  You can literally eat your way to happiness with food rich in tryptophan and folic acid, the building blocks to maintaining high levels of serotonin. Remember to eat your leafy greens, beans, and whole grains.   Remember it's more than a simple serotonin deficiency.  And you too, will be smiling.

Do keep in mind that if you are experiencing a number of the symptoms mentioned in this article along with other related problems including brain fogginess, insomnia, extreme, persistant or chronic depression, you likely need more than an increase in any supplements.  Please see a physician and make sure that your problems are addressed both physically and mentally.

How to heal the child grieving?

It's inevitable that as parents we will eventually have to teach our children about death. Often times, this loss will come in the form of the death of a beloved pet. Sometimes it happens when we lose a beloved family member such as the child's grandparent. How do you ease the child grieving process?

Loss of a Grandparent Affects the Whole Family

Some children are fortunate enough to have a very close relationship with at least one of their grandparents. But unfortunately, the day will come when the child will deal with the death of this grandparent. So how do you, as their parent, help your child through this time when you are grieving yourself? After all, you have experienced a loss as well. This can be especially hard if you are dealing with a child who is still too young to understand what death means. A child might ask when her grandparent is coming back from wherever it is they went, which can be very hard for you to hear at this time.

As hard as it may be to comprehend, sometimes helping a child to understand death and then cope with their loss can actually help you through the grieving process as well. The first thing to do is to find a way to help your child understand what has happened. One suggestion is to find books aimed at kids that explain death and even the afterlife.

One book that has been written on this subject is, What is Heaven? by Maria Shriver. The book explains about death, the afterlife, and even what will happen during a funeral on a level that children will understand. This is also a good book to read a child when anticipating grief, such as when you know a family member is in bad health and won’t be getting better.

Once the child understands what has happened, the child grieving process will start. Remember that there are five stages of grief that a child and an adultgenerally go through: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Some of us will experience all of these stages while others only a few, because no two people will grieve the same. That goes for children as well. Once a child grieving process starts it's important to let them know that it's all right to be sad and to miss their loved one. Another important thing is not to put on a brave front for the child. She needs to know that you are grieving as well. This provides her with a role model for the grieving process.

A way to help the child and yourself through her grief is to share family memories of the departed relative with the child. Tell her stories about your own childhood that maybe she didn’t know about. Show her old photographs of you with your deceased loved one. You can also show family home movies. Even though it might be sad to watch them at first, it might also bring you great comfort to relive those memories.

You can also have a child write a letter to the person she's lost, telling how much she misses them. This might be a good idea for you to do as well, because putting all your thoughts down on paper helps with the grieving process. Another idea is to create a family memorial or a special place in the house where you can put photos of the deceased. You could also plant a tree in honor of the loved one with the child's help.

Grieving the loss of someone you love can be a very difficult time, but if you have children, remember they are grieving too. They need to know that you are there for them, and allow them to be there for you too. Together, you can both begin the healing process.

Mental Health and Brain Functioning

Mental Health and Fatty Acids

The association between mental health and fatty acids is a relatively new finding. Research suggests that foods with good fatty acids, like flaxseed and cold-water fish, may decrease symptoms associated with mental illnesses. Hence, it is necessary to have a healthy lifestyle to reduce symptoms caused by mental health issues like depression and schizophrenia.
Role of Dietary Fats in Emotional Wellbeing

What is the role of dietary fats in emotional well being? Good fatty acids, like Omega-3, are derived from digested food and are not produced by the body. Fatty acids play an important role in brain function and normal growth and development. Omega fatty acids are different than saturated fats. Omega fatty acids are polyunsaturated, therefore healthier for people than other fats. There are three Omega fatty acids. They are Omega-3, Omega-6 and Omega-9.  Omega-3 and 6 are essential as they are not manufactured inside the body and must be absorbed through diet.  When fatty acids are in short supply, the body shows physical and mental signs. A few of these signs are poor memory, mood swings, and dry skin.

Depression is a common emotional diagnosis. Worldwide, depression affects 340 million people and goes undiagnosed in about 50% of cases. Fish oil has been shown in preliminary studies to support a healthy mind and, in turn, help people with mild to moderate depression.  Many of these studies have linked low EPA and DHA levels to depression, but the exact reason why fatty acids affect mental health is still under study. As with any mental health disorder, it is essential to see a doctor to evaluate if a change in diet is necessary or suggested.

There are several ways to ensure the body is receiving enough fatty acids for proper body function. Fatty acids come in a variety of ways. Popular methods are taking capsules of fish oil, increasing the amount of cold-water fish eaten each week, and adding flax seed to meals.

For vegetarians and vegans, ground flaxseed, flaxseed oil, nuts, and dark leafy greens provide the fatty acid ALA, which the body converts into DHA and EPA. There are differing viewpoints on whether or not a solely plant-based diet can provide enough ALA to convert into adequate amounts of DHA and EPA. One concern is for people who are unable to convert enough ALA into sufficient amounts of fatty acids, due to biological reasons. People who suspect they may have problems converting ALA into DHA and EPA should seek professional advice.

It’s recommended that adults with no history of heart disease eat two servings of Omega-3 rich fish each week, while adults with coronary heart disease should take 1 gram of EPA and DHA daily. It is suggested that people with high cholesterol consume 2-4 grams of EPA and DHA daily.  While it’s vital to receive enough fatty acids for development, ingesting too much has consequences as well. Omega-3 thins the blood, so careful attention should be taken when combining with other blood thinning medication and supplements.

A healthy lifestyle through exercise and healthy eating is a natural, easy way to ensure all fatty acids needed by the body are being received. If mental health issues still occur after changes in diet and lifestyle, consult a doctor about further treatment options.

Gratitude Ranging

We live in a culture today that is becoming increasingly out of balance.

Each day presents itself with more to do and what seems like less time to accomplish it in. In fact, it’s rare today to find someone who isn’t struggling to balance time, money, work, and family, all while attempting to maintain their own needs, health and wellness.

We’re bombarded by stress from every direction ranging from physical inactivity to constant anxiety about money, career, and relationships. Adding to the stress is all the toxic products we expose our body to through what we eat and drink because we don’t have time to prepare a healthy meal. Eventually, our stressful life leads to physical, mental, and emotional imbalances as we try to compensate for the world we live in.

An estimated 90 percent of all doctor visits are for stress-related aliments. Evidence shows that today’s biggest health challenges are cardiovascular disease, cancer, diabetes, and obesity – all conditions that are often linked to living in a state of constant stress. This constant stress and lack of balance will almost certainly lead to some form of pain or physical condition for which we need to seek medical advice. In this way, pain can actually be a blessing because it creates awareness that our body is out of balance and needs a change.

Thankfully, stress is not so much a result of what is going on in our life as it is about how we perceive those things. The beauty here is we have some control over how we perceive the world around us. Many highly-effective modalities exist to help bring balance back to the body. We can seek to balance the nervous system through chiropractic adjustments, the meridians through acupuncture, or the blood chemistry using nutritional supplements, herbs, and homeopathic remedies. Exercise and mindfulness are also effective ways to return balance to the body, thus restoring health physically, mentally, and emotionally.

But one of the most powerful ways to return balance to the body is through the constant practice of gratitude. By beginning to see everything in our life as a blessing and learning to become grateful not only for the wonderful things in our life, but also the most challenging, we can begin to dissolve the “charge” associated with a stressful situation. Changing worry to gratitude dramatically affects the way our body responds to stress.

Robert Emmons, Ph.D., and professor at the University of California, Davis, has written the first major scientific study on gratitude, its causes, and potential impact on human health. In his work entitled Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier. Dr. Emmons concluded that “grateful people experience higher levels of positive emotions such as joy, enthusiasm, love, happiness, and optimism, and the practice of gratitude as a discipline protects a person from the destructive impulses of envy, resentment, greed, and bitterness.”

Further benefits of practicing gratitude include an increased ability to cope with stress, a stronger immune function leading to quicker recovery from illness, and an increased feeling of connectedness, which helps to improve relationships.

Love and gratitude are two of the most powerful of healers. By looking for the blessings in every person and event in our life, we will begin to dissolve feelings of fear and guilt, bringing more ease and well-being to our body and mind.

In his book The Gratitude Effect, Dr. John Demartini recommends beginning and ending your day with a “gratitude” journal. Even spending just a few moments each day in a state of gratitude can have a transformational effect on our lives. Living this way helps us replace fear, anxiety and worry with joy, happiness, and peace, resulting in a healthier and more balanced body and mind. Let’s face it, stress is here to stay, so we must learn how to better adapt and respond to it.

Try spending a few moments a day practicing gratitude and see how your life can be transformed.

The value of spirituality in life

Spirituality isn’t a trend.

I’m always baffled by those who coo about how “into” spirituality they are, like it’s a piece of bamboo clothing or some sort of fad diet.

Maybe it’s because I never really thought about spirituality as some kind of commodity that can be neatly packaged and marketed -- although, a quick stroll past a magazine stand or through a bookstore might cause one to question that assumption.

Marketing “spirituality” is indeed something that seems to be increasingly prevalent in our culture, and though it seems odd to me, I have to stop myself from making any snap judgments and ask myself: is it really such a bad thing that people are embracing spirituality?

Of course not.

If more people are starting to think more about their spirituality, learning to embrace it and hopefully using it to grow, that’s what’s important.

In my work as an intuitive and holistic educator and practitioner, I have an abundance of so-called spiritual people around me and often I hear discussion and even debate about all of this new spiritual stuff. Many of them are wary of what they see as a spirituality trend and who think many people see spirituality as little more than the bandwagon du jour. 

But why are we so concerned with how someone begins their journey into all things spiritual?

There is no doubt that in the last decade there has been a shift from things “religious” to things “spiritual”; a less formalized view and approach to soul evolution and I think that is a reflection of massive growth (or is that growth of the masses)? 

When I was much younger, there came a time when I began to question the limitations of the spiritual dogma that was my family’s religion. It was a challenging time and I am sure scary for my traditional parents.

However, I was in no way disparaging the teachings which had brought me to that point in my life. In fact, I have a lot of respect for many of those lessons, but something was suggesting the possibility that there was more to learn and be open to.

At the end of the day, spirituality is a personal thing. Does it really matter how you explore your own spiritual side? Be it via meditation, yoga, religion, prayer, gardening, cycling, fishing, cooking or heading into the forest?

Anything that allows time for gentle reflection can truly become a spiritual experience.  Often it is in singular moments that we receive threads of insight anyway, so what does it matter how we get there? What we actually do with those threads of insight becomes much more of a reflection of our spirituality than the learned knowledge in and of itself.

Knowledge without action is a little bit like having someone offer to buy you lunch after you’ve just paid the bill. Certainly, there is a time to receive knowledge, but there is also a time to take that insight and its lesson forward into the world so it becomes truly useful.

So how do we do this? Well, if you have already learned something what was the point of learning it unless you apply it to your life, let it help shape your views or actions, let it touch your relationships and maybe even change the way you see yourself in the community and beyond.

Meditating for hours to get insight is great, but if you never take it beyond the cushion then what is the point really?

Tapping into your own spirituality is not simply limited to learning about yourself. Rather it is just the beginning of a wider view of life, a way of carrying yourself in this world. You do not have to be a monk to live a spiritual life and in this day and age that is not what most of us are here to do. It is easy to be spiritual living on a mountain with serenity at your finger tips.

The challenge of living a truly spiritual life is about bringing that spirituality into your everyday existence, your family, friends, and fellow living beings. 

Remember, spirituality is not something you do or practice, rather it is something that you are. Let it become a part of who you are.

We are all spiritual beings here together. No more, no less.

Smart Brain Smart Business

Business success depends on a healthy and fit brain. As the integrated control center for your body, the health and fitness of your brain is critical to performance. Pull the plug on the connection between the body and brain and you lose the power source for longevity and health.

Finding the Connection

In a recent study, researchers from UCLA discovered a connection between the stress hormone, cortisol, and immune cells that help fight disease. Their research suggests cortisol contributes to the premature aging of the immune cells.

The study reveals the devastating effect of long-term stress. The multi-tasking world of today’s business executive challenges the balance we all need in our life. However, it is a challenge worth fighting, and it starts with feeding and nourishing your brain.

Creating a Brain Power Surge

Brain health allows your brain to function on all cylinders. It builds the cognitive process that is important in how we think, learn, and make decisions. Brain fitness aids performance in areas like memory, eye-hand coordination, multitasking and focus.

Think of brain health and fitness as nutrition and exercise for the brain. Just as the body benefits from good nutrition and exercise, so too, does the brain.

The National Institute on Aging reports that a healthy diet is important for brain health. Mitochondria are the energy source in our cells.  A diet rich in antioxidants and mitochondrial cofactors, such as vitamins E and C, fruits and vegetables, harness age-related, cognitive decline. Some foods rich in antioxidants include berries, broccoli, tomatoes, whole grains and spinach.

Not only good nutrition leads to a healthy and fit brain. A study by the University of Gothenburg, involving 1.2 million men from Sweden, showed the power of exercise for both the body and the brain. The results cited a “clear link between good physical condition and better results” for IQ tests. Exercise your body and you exercise your brain.

Your business provides plenty of exercise for the brain, but too much causes stress. Bring balance by weaving other types of brain exercises into your network of activity. Exercises such as crossword puzzles, learning a new language or studying music are just a few examples. Find exercises that are fun and challenging.

Maintaining the Charge

Your brain and body health and fitness depends on regular maintenance. Develop a health and fitness plan for your brain, just as you would for your body. Create a nutrition-rich diet, and develop an exercise routine for both your body and your brain. Wellness and business success make sense. A healthy and fit brain makes that smart connection. 

3 Successful Tips To Increase Creativity

For many, tapping into our creative side can be difficult, and at times, seemingly impossible.  In fact, speaking with many people has led me to believe that a significant number of people do not even believe they have any creative ability at all.  They are resigned to the idea that they do not posses any creative nature.  Given how we are raised today and the values of our collective culture, it’s not difficult to fathom why this is belief is so common.  We live in a society that highly values the qualities of the analytical, logical, and the purely “rational” point of view.  The educational systems emphasize math and science, while cutting art and music programs.  Despite the great value of analytical thinking, overemphasizing it comes at the cost of losing out on another amazing part of our being.  Being able to think linearly helps us to progress, move forward, and complete tasks.  However, it is from our creative side that we develop vision.  Without vision, we have no idea where to progress too, both as individual and as a society.  Because we grow up in a culture that, in general, does not value creativity, we tend to suppress it.  This leads many adults left to believe that they are not creative at all.
 
Where Creativity Originates
 
While nobody is quite sure where consciousness arises from, we have determined where it resides.  The brain is the medium through which consciousness travels.  To simplify things, math, logic, and analytical thinking are left brain dominant activities.  Creative functions such as music, art, and the ability to see things as a whole, as opposed to parts, are right brain dominant activities.  Most of us spend a significant amount of time in left brain dominant thinking, solving problems from a very linear perspective.  This becomes necessary early in life in order to be successful in school, and later, at work.  If this does not come naturally to a person, they tend to struggle in public education systems and never really get the opportunity to cultivate their creative nature.  We tend to get stuck in left brain dominant thinking in order to be successful, at least by society’s standards.  In order to spark creativity, it is therefore necessary to escape this pattern of thinking and one of the most effective ways of doing this is force our self out of the left brain momentarily.
 
Moving Into Your Creative State

One of the most effective means of stopping the constant chatter of the left brain is vigorous exercise.  Whether it’s running, swimming, cycling, riding and elliptical, or simply and intense walk, doesn’t matter.  The key is finding an activity that is intense enough to force you out of your current pattern of thinking.  The beauty of this approach is you will know if it is working or not.  If you find yourself exercising, and you’re still thinking about the past days events, your current to-do list, or something somebody said or did to you, that’s the queue to pick up the pace. The goal will be reached when you are forced to focus on the physical activity you’re participating in.  Once this state is reached, space will be created for inspiration, creativity, and new ideas to begin bubbling to the surface.  Vigorous physical exercise helps your creative process by forcing you out of left brain dominant thinking. In addition, exercise improves blood flow, while increasing oxygen to the brain.  The brain therefore functions more effectively and efficiently when one exercises regularly.  Studies have also shown that exercise increases specific chemicals in the brain such as dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, and glutamate, not only improving cognition, but also helping to decrease depression.  Exciting new research shows that regular exercise even leads to the creation of new neurons.    
 
Motion is Life

Motion is essential for life.  In fact, it’s the essence of life.  The less motion we experience in our day, the less life we experience.  Like the saying “a rut is only a few feet from the grave,” many of us are stuck in the routine of getting up, driving to work, sitting at a desk, driving home, sitting on the couch, then going to bed.  Not only is this bad for the body, but it leads to stagnation in our thought process.  Not only do we perform the same activities everyday, but we think the same thoughts, as well.  When you increase motion in your life by exercising, you will begin to expand yourmental and emotional range, becoming more able to experience a broad range of emotions.  This will allow you to view things from a more holistic perspective, further deepening your creative abilities.  

Getting Mental Health Naturally

It may seem normal to brush off prolonged feelings of stress, fatigue, or irritability, but that's the last thing we should be doing. Good mental health is vital to our overall well-being. Every October 10, health care organizations mark World Health Day to bring awareness to mental health issues.

We all face periods of poor mental health. Performance reviews at work, conflict in relationships, money worries, the death of a loved one, and even moving all put strain on your mental health. It's important to note that people who have a severe mental illness often require medication to help manage or correct chemical imbalances, and behavioral changes should not replace medication prescribed by a doctor. But for the average person who is going through a rough patch or is feeling like they're in a mental slump, there are natural ways to support mental health.

Stay Hydrated

Water is essential to our overall health -- our bodies are about two-thirds water, after all. But keeping hydrated isn't just essential for a well-working body. Dehydration has a lot of uncomfortable symptoms, from headache to fatigue to trouble concentrating. It also can affect your moods. Be sure to drink eight eight-ounce glasses of water daily to ensure your body is adequately hydrated.

Eat Right

Eating the right foods has a huge impact on how well you feel. Eating regular and healthy meals helps support neurotransmission, the signals that your brain sends to tell your body what to do. When you're not eating well, these signals don't always connect properly, and that can increase feelings of irritability and anxiety.

Try to include proteins such as meat, fish, eggs, or legumes in every meal. Eat lots of high-fiber fruits and vegetables, and be sure to eat foods that are rich in essential fatty acids, such as salmon, flaxseeds, and olive oil. On the flip side, avoid caffeine and sugar. Caffeine is fine when you're up, but when your body starts to go through caffeine withdrawal, your feelings of irritability increase. Sugary foods and drinks destabilize your blood sugar levels, causing fluctuations in mood and behavior.

Hit the Gym

Regular exercise is a natural stress-reliever that will help improve your mood considerably. Studies have shown that aerobic exercise reduces anxiety and depression, and that exercise improves self-esteem and cognitive function, which also help relieve negative moods.

Aerobic workouts such as spin and step classes also help boost endorphins, the feel-good hormones that have an antidepressant effect on the brain. Yoga is another great exercise for improving your mood. The emphasis on deep breathing is calming, and meditation at the end of many yoga classes will help release anxiety and calm your mind. Just 30 minutes of exercise at least three days each week will help plenty, but try to work some form of exercise into your daily routine.

Get Lots of Sleep

Sleep is an integral part of good mental health, yet according to the Sleep Association, about 60 million Americans suffer from frequent or extended periods of insomnia. When you sleep, your body recharges and your mind resets for a new day. If you're not getting enough sleep, your mind and body will feel sluggish, and your mood will suffer.

The good news is there are plenty of natural ways to catch some zees. First and foremost, try to get to bed earlier. The best sleep for adults occurs between 10 p.m. and 1 a.m., so if you're staying up late, you're missing out on a good night's rest. If your mind is too busy to sleep, try calming scents such as vanilla, sandalwood, bergamot, lavender, or chamomile.

Supporting your body with good food, plenty of water, regular exercise, and proper rest will help support your mental health as well.

4 Tips to get out of committment phobia

Commitment phobia is something that has historically been a stereotype predominantly attached to men in relationships who are afraid of getting married. However commitment phobia is much more prevalent in all of us than we may at first like to admit. How committed are we to our own development? To our well being? To making healthy and positive choices in our lives? I bet there are a few areas most of us can isolate as not being exactly where we want them to be.  

Why So Scared?

Let’s breakdown the reasons why we don’t commit to ourselves. Firstly there’s probably a pay-off to not changing things or implementing other choices. Are we not exercising regularly because if we lost weight we might get attention we aren’t ready for? Or are we not creating boundaries with our demanding boss because that would mean we would lose sympathy and not be able to play the martyr anymore in our work situations? We have to be able to ask ourselves, what is the pay-off to this situation and how can I find another way to get what I need without playing into the same old patterns of sabotaging or victimizing myself. After looking at the pay-off that keeps you stuck, next look at what is scary about making a certain change, write down those fears on paper and see if they are a) factual and b) rational. If they are not write down the reasons why they aren’t. A big part of why we don’t commit is because we are actually comfortable where we are and many of us don’t think it’s worth risking something that we know makes us unhappy for a discomfort that is new and unknown.

It Takes Time

Commitment phobia has a lot to do with patience also. Are we willing to spend some time in the unknown to reach our goal? When we leave the familiar, we make a difficult choice and we have to be able to wade through the period of time when we don’t see results right away. Knowing that you will experience this can help in minding your expectations as you remind yourself that this is a process. It is so important to stick with it and not give up, or to get right back on the horse if we fall off our track.

Action Plan

Now plan of action. Write down the fears that are standing in the way – even if you decide not to do anything about them right away, putting them down on paper will get them out of your head at least.  Whether it’s fear of failure, rejection or fear of success or getting exactly what you want, we have to be willing to at least look at the reasons why we are struggling if we are going to attempt to find a way out. Next read that list to someone you trust, and ask them to witness you and to also help you act as a lawyer fighting in your own defense – again asking if the fears are factual/rational and if they are, how you can find a different way of looking at them. 

Change Perception

Perception has a lot to do with how we see commitment, whether that is a commitment to ourselves or to a partner, a career, a hobby or a lifestyle choice. If we can see commitment as a way of receiving love from ourselves, there is no doubt, we will be rewarded with the support of everything around us. 

Making Your Holidays Cheerful

The holiday season is an amazing time of the year.  It’s a time that’s meant to be filled with love, joy, and happiness as there is so much to feel blessed about and so many things to feel grateful for.  The gift of life alone is miraculous, leaving one in a state of wonder and awe when deeply considered.  However, such realizations and feelings are generally far from what most of us experience this time of year.  Instead of experiencing joy, most of the season is spent pushing ourselves physically, emotionally, and even chemically, as we rush to get everything done.  With ever growing to-do lists, pressure at work, travel, changes in diet, and everything else associated with the holidays, we tend to experience more stress and overwhelm than in any other time of the year.  That hardly leaves any time for reflection, resulting in the missed opportunity to experience all the wonderful things life has to offer.

With so much consuming us, how do cut through the madness and experience some of the blessing that constantly pervades us?  How do we obtain the joy and happiness meant to come from this time of the year?  While many things factor into our overall happiness, there are three things you can do that will absolutely transform your holidays, allowing you to experience not only the joy and happiness of the season, but a deeper sense of fulfillment and blessing.

Focus on the Now

For many of us, we spend a significant amount of time not living not in the present moment, but in the past or future.  If we are not worried about something that may occur in the future, we are holding on to something that happened to us in the past.  The result of this becomes a state of survival in the body, leading to an overall sense of anxiety. Not only is this state not conducive to happiness, it makes it nearly impossible to experience.  Anxiety and overwhelm create more tension in the body, which leads to an even greater state of survival, resulting in a cycle that can be hard to break. Because of this, most of us do not take the time to count our blessings when we are in survival mode. The key to breaking this cycle is the breath. Practicing meditation, yoga, or some form of prayer, is great. However, simply becoming aware of your breathing can have a significant effect on your overall being. When you first become mindful of your breath, you will probably find that it is rapid, shallow, non-rhythmic, and often times, you’re holding it altogether. By bringing your awareness to your breath, it will immediately slows and becomes much deeper. This shift, resonates through your entire physiology, as your heart rate slows, your blood pressure drops, and blood is shunted from your muscles back to your vital organs bringing oxygen and nourishment with it. Just as importantly, a space opens for you to move into the present moment, and experience a greater sense of ease. It is from this space that blessings can be counted and just as importantly experienced.

Make Gratitude a Priority

Dr. Robert Emmons, a professor at University of California, has shown in his groundbreaking work that people who practice gratitude, for instance keeping a gratitude journal on a weekly basis, are healthier and more optimistic.  Further, these same people are more likely to make progress toward achieving personal goals, which further increases overall happiness. The reality is that stress is not real. Stress results from how we perceive and experience the world around us. By taking time everyday to keep a gratitude journal, making a list every night before bed and reviewing it each morning upon awaking, we can significantly shift the perception of our life’s events. With this, we can begin to see the blessing even in events that seem less that ideal, including times of crisis and tragedy. With a change in perception, our very physiology shifts from one of survival to one of ease, allowing greater depth, meaning, and fulfillment to flow into our lives.  From this state, the true meaning of the holidays can be experienced.

Practice Kindness

While many things factor into one’s happiness, research has shown that nothing has as positive an effect on one’s overall level of happiness than helping others achieve happiness. Altruism of any sort, whether it be helping a friend, volunteering time, donating used items or money, listening to others, sharing kind words, or even a smile, all contribute to a greater state of peace and happiness in oneself.  Further, the health benefits associated with helping others has been shown to rival, and even exceed those, resulting from exercise or quitting smoking. In short, the most powerful way to achieve joy and happiness is to help others achieve the same.

The holiday season can be a very stressful time of the year, and it is easy to lose the meaning associated with it. However, it can also be a time of great blessing and fulfillment.  This year, make it a point bring live in the present moment, look for the blessing in all things, and send some love and kindness into the world.  You will find that the more peace and joy you give, the more you will receive, allowing you to enter the new year feeling more blessing and fulfillment that ever before.