Worrying And Personality
Worry
Worry is persistent nonadjustive "thinking" which is not always negative; it may stimulate us to seek some solution to a problem. It is in some ways the verbal conterpart of nervousness. The worrier "spins his wheels" by going over his troubles again and again without getting any closer to a solution. When worry is concerned with a minor and specific problem, it is likely to disappear when the difficulty is solved or when the person directs his attention to some· thing else. A very difficult type of worry to overcome in a reasonable period of time is related to the error we have made that will affect some future event. Examples are numerous: the unmailed letter that makes us realize we have failed to meet an important deadline; the last-minute awareness that we are lacking a credit for graduation; or inadvertent publication of possibly offensive material. Sometimes worry is caused by the small things that get called to our attention again and again. For example, one large food distribution company reports that of some 125,000 complaints a year from consumers,. about 10,000 have to do with a particular product, such as its condition or use, but three times as many complaints involve premiums that do not come as soon as expected. Most people, it seems, ignore the printed notice of six to eight weeks for delivery.
The uncertainty of whether our explanation of some difficulty,or even solution for it, will be accepted by some other person involved adds to the persistence of worry. One thing we do know: Persistent worry cannot be relieved merely by telling the worrier not to worry. As one well-adjusted instructor said: "I can solve problems, but. I cannot solve worries. I try to convey this to my students. .
Steps In Reducing Worry
It is safe to say that it is impossible to get rid of all worry. As a matter of fact, the solutions to problems often come because of worry. Or observe sometime what you think about when you do not haven worry over a fairly long period of time. It is quite possible you:will raise the
question, "What is or is not a worry?" This leads to a second question, "What is my individual threshold for worry?" Analyzing worry as a process generally allows us to cut down on the frequency of worry and to some extent on the degree of worry. Bearing in mind that the steps given below in relieving worry do not always work, you may still wish to try them. Chances are you will discover that you have been using these steps from time to time, it is important to become aware of what do.;s or does not work well.
First Step
First, set a time to consider the worry. What is the cause? Often worry is yague and without specific cause. Taking time out to analyze it may help find the cause. If there is no cause, this fact may help us get rid of the "ghosts." Putting off looking at worry does not reduce tension.
Second Step
Second, talk the worry out with a good listener. Worries tend to become exaggerated when bottled up inside. An impartial observer can help us go through the stages of
- trying to make our worry more objective by expressing it;
- being asked questions about the cause; and
- getting some participation in the worry.
Third Step
Third, seek reliable information about the area of the worry.
Some worry is unnecessarily generated through ignorance, misinformation, or misconceptions. Sometimes people who seem to operate at a high crisis level, frequently using such words as "urgent" or "demanding," may tend to exaggerate our worry level. By talking the problem over with someone in whom we have confidence we may discover different solutions to try or we may at least find new ways of thinking about the problem. Seeking information in itself is a con· servative exercise that helps to cut down on wheel spinning.
Fourth Step
Fourth, do something active about the source of the worry. For example, low grades may be helped by guidance and efficient study. Social worries may be lessened by some group activity.
Fifth Step
Fifth, realize that some worries have no solution. If the conditions are impossible to remedy, turn to other types of behavior to occupy yourself; sports, hobbies, amusements, and work help reduce stress brought on by "no-solution" worry. And we all ha ve these kinds of worry.
Sixth Step
Sixth, counseling centers are good places to go to when professional guidance is necessary. One must remember, however, that most centers are overloaded with work and some prethinking about one's problems can be helpful.
From a personality standpoint some of us are "worry worts," even arranging our worries iIl order of magnitude. If we have no real cause for concern, we tend to fall back upon a lesser feeling of just being uneasy.
